Candy and Blood is a collection of essays about one man’s prison experience over the past 12 years.
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*Includes a 40-page glossary of prison terminology!

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Manscaping in Prison

This excerpt is from Candy and Blood, available on now. This package must be handled with care. There I stood, stark naked, perched on one foot with the other planted waist-high against the wall. My back was bent and twisted in acrobatic fashion, my neck craning and turning to get the best vantage point. A […]

The Fastidious Squirrel

This excerpt is from Candy and Blood, available on now. Even before I saw him in action and discovered his proclivities for food storage, he first reminded me of a nerdy rodent in a children’s cartoon: large, round eyes encased in over-sized glasses, rounded pouches for cheeks apparently designed for smuggling, and an overbite and […]

Lunch and a Show

This excerpt is from Candy and Blood, available on now. “You’re a bitch,” Gary sneered. Then, as if one utterance of that loaded word wasn’t enough, he repeated it. “You’re nothing but a little bitch.” Finally, he upped the ante. “You say it to me one time, say it, and I bet I beat your […]

Teddy Bear Throwdown

This excerpt is from Candy and Blood, available on now. As I watched the two of them pummel each other, with teeth bared in some feral display of rage and dominance, my fellow inmates and I cheered them on. In that moment, I experienced a flash of clarity that shames me to this day. === […]

Fun with Sunstroke

This excerpt is from Candy and Blood, available on now. I lay there on my sticky mat and tried not to move. My body was emanating more heat than an Easy Bake Oven as my cellie retched out the few remaining contents of his stomach into the steel toilet. He had spurned my courteous warnings […]

A Confluence of Unfortunate Occurrences

This excerpt is from Candy and Blood, available on now. Standing there with my bruises and torn boxer shorts, I felt the unwarranted shame of a victim, as if I had somehow done something to bring this entire situation upon myself. Sometimes bad things just happen. === To begin with, I wasn’t expecting a court […]


It was about nine months after my arrest date, and I was still sitting in county, fighting my case. I’d already spent a Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday separated from the world – the first of many such separations – but to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. My mental anguish – in the form of […]

Search and Seizure

Wade’s legs waggled and writhed while the heels of his boots bounced against the floor. His arms flailed and flopped, making slapping noises against the concrete. Moaning noises were punctuated by occasional grunts as his entire body shimmied and bucked. Seeing Wade afflicted like that, I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. […]

Hot Foot

Pinto beans are a special meal in prison, simply because not every cook is capable of preparing them. In a yet-to-be-explained paradox, bags of pinto beans are available for purchase in commissary, but there’s no way to cook them without using a hot pot that’s been illegally rigged to boil, or at least modified to […]


I was rushing to get to my work assignment. I wasn’t running late, but I preferred arriving early so that I could take a few moments to get organized and prepared for the day’s tasks. It was a gray day with big fluffy snowflakes fluttering to earth like butterflies on broken wings. Each flake added […]